Thursday, March 8, 2012

Sex Without Guilt (Guest post), life has been just a bit ridiculous lately...hence the lack of posts :) YET...endless thoughts, ideas and yes, BLOGS are swirling around in my head, awaiting expression at the proper time. But until I get a spare moment to sit down and write, I want to feed my faithful readers with some words from a good friend. Sarah is a beautiful girl with an absolutely incredible testimony of God's faithfulness and redemption. Over the past few weeks as Sarah and I have been chatting over coffee, we have found incredible encouragement and revelation through each other's stories. We're both facing a shockingly similar situation at the moment and I know that the Lord put us in each other's lives to minister His truth and perspective to one another in this challenging season.

Tonight, I was reading her blog (Spilled Perfume--you can check it out here) and it made me smile because we're both so similar. Here's to single ladies sharing honest confessions about striving after self-control in the arena of sexuality! As Australians would say, "G'd on ya, girl!" :)

Here goes Sarah...

I’ve spent a lot of time these days thinking of getting married, wondering who that guy is and when I will meet him, or if I’ve already met him but have been too scared to talk to him.  I wrote a letter to him tonight in my notebook called Faceless.  It’s a notebook full of letters to him.  It will be a wedding gift.  He can’t read it until we’re married.

Tonight I wrote my fifth letter to him, and very nearly cried as the truth came out on those pages – the truth that I’m tired of waiting for him to get here.

I know most people don’t freely talk about this, but I’m not most people.  I’m tired of being abstinent!  I want a man I can actually marry, that I can actually have sex with and not have to feel ashamed about it.  I’ve never had sex without feeling shame, because I’ve never had sex inside of a committed relationship.  I want to marry someone trustworthy, and have full permission to sleep with him as often as I want.
The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.  (I Corinthians 7:4)
A speaker I heard at a concert a few weeks ago said, “Do you know why God gives you a sex drive years before you get married? Because when you get married, you will be offering your spouse something you had to FIGHT to keep.”  I love that!

Well, I am definitely fighting to keep my sexual purity. It’s a battle, even a daily battle.  It would be so easy to flirt with those coworkers who always want in my pants.  It would be so easy to get frustrated at being single, and just go out to a bar and go home with someone.  It would be so easy.  But it wouldn’t be satisfying.  It would result in shame and regret.

The last time I had a one night stand, I picked myself up surprisingly quickly, but that’s only because I’ve grown so much in the last few years.  I don’t live by shame anymore; I live by faith in Christ.  I only succeed in life because of the tremendous grace God lavishes on me day in and day out.  No joke.

But I really long for that day when I can have sex with a clear conscience for the first time in my life.  I really crave that day, and I crave that experience.  And I get impatient, wondering how long it’s gonna take...

Sigh. Me too, Sarah. All I can say is something a friend wrote to me earlier this week:

"Waiting reveals the weakness in our own plans..."

Clearly God is up to things we can't see or understand. The longer we wait, the more we see that our own plans don't always align with His. Rather, we realize they are packed full of little holes, slowly seeping out sin and selfishness. But keeping us "in the wait" is God' incredible way of protecting us and saving us for His absolute best.

It's not foolish to hope. Because true hope, based on God's sovereign and perfect plan, will never disapoint...