Sometimes I think life would be so much easier if I had a chastity belt...
Confession: I didn't actually know whether or not chastity belts really existed until yesterday. Over the years, I had seen movies or heard jokes making reference to the "virginity protection device" that I always secretly assumed was a myth of medieval culture. Sure, Maid Marion had one, but I'm not sure the Hollywood version of Robin Hood is the most reliable source of historical accuracy.
So, while sipping my Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks yesterday, I decided to do some research...
And I'm here to tell you that YES, the chastity belt DOES actually exist! If you're struggling with a visual at the moment, just picture "panties of steel," secured with a lock and key. Indeed, THE most literal protection a young damsel can get to help ensure her purity. The key to unlock the chastity belt, medieval tradition has it, can only be obtained by a maiden's true love...and even then, only on her wedding night. Wow! What an invention...
Tossing any sort of kinky bondage fantasy aside, think about the practicality of such a thing! The polar opposite of the "Easy-access" crotch-less panty, the "Try-as-you-might-but-you're-not-getting-up-in-here" chastity belt offers fool-proof protection. Not only does it prevent lustful men from entering the sacred territory, but it also has the added benefit of keeping a young maiden's own hands from prematurely exploring the forbidden fruit. Just think of the marketing scheme: Feeling tempted? Fearing assailants? Lock that junk up! HE doesn't get the key until YOU get a ring! The chastity belt: It's easy...so you don't have to be.
Oh, chastity belt! If only you wouldn't look so awkward under my skinny jeans...
Maybe I can just get one for my heart instead. Encased in steel and securely locked up tight, such a device would surely prevent men from stealing it for their own emotional benefit. Like a real chastity belt, I surmise this heart protector could also guard me from myself...keeping me from exposing it or giving it away carelessly. If my heart were kept under lock and key, I could guarantee it to be safely delivered to my husband on our wedding night. "Here," I would say, proudly handing him the key, "My heart has been saved for you alone. Only YOU can unlock it's depth, it's secrets and it's beauty. It is completely pure, soft and unscarred."
Sigh...
Though the chastity belt may be real, there is no such shield for my heart. For a moment, the thought crushes me--There will never be an simple way to navigate the fragility of this most precious part of me. Scripture compels me to "guard it"...to "watch over it with all diligence." Far from a straight-forward task, the command seems a paradox. For in order to live as I am called to (by that very same Book), I need to use it everyday. In order to love, I need to keep it open and vulnerable--thus exposing it to hardening, scarring, even the possibility of shattering. I must protect it, but I cannot keep it under lock and key. God's method is far more complex than this...
Because whether it's worn on my heart or my hips, a chastity belt is just an quick-fix means of compliance--a forced obedience. It requires no self control. No actual overcoming of temptation (by either the one wearing it or the one seeking to be let in). Lacking true soul transformation or mind-renewal, its protection is false, shallow, and ultimately, in vain...
I guess this is why as I have been studying the Scriptural (yet often clouded in Christian-ese) concept of "guarding your heart," there are no easy answers. Like any aspect of spiritual growth and discipleship, mere rule-keeping and "seven-step lists" can never get us any closer to where we want to be. Because if protecting this vital organ meant installing a simple lock-and-key, we would never need to learn maturity. And the Lord so values our maturity, because it is the indication that real change has taken place...
"No prolonged infancies among us, please," Paul admonishes believers in the fourth chapter of Ephesians, "We'll not tolerate babes in the woods, small children who are an easy mark for impostors. God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. "
Maturity, however, comes when we are given the freedom to choose...and actually taught how to choose wisely. When we are simply restrained, we are robbed of the opportunity to learn just how to exercise self-control. Like the time my Dad decided to put a timer on our TV so that my sister and I couldn't watch it until 5:30 (theoretically allowing us enough time to get our homework done before dinner). The timer, however, was a short-lived experiment, as it didn't teach us any discipline...other than to learn how to pick the lock on my parents door in order to shut the timer off ;) (Hahahaha...and we were the "good kids!"). As highly as you might like to regard human nature, there is no denying that so-called "guards" do little in the way of preventing evil. In fact, since our sinful selves gravitate towards the very things that threaten to destroy us, we shouldn't be surprised when we find ourselves intentionally breaking the guards that were designed to protect us.
The only way we come to truly value boundaries (God-implemented guards and protectors, like the commands of Scripture) is when we train ourselves to discern good from evil--and to pro-actively choose the good. That training is otherwise known as discipleship--seeking daily to know and become more and more like Christ. And incidentally, allowing Him to fill our hearts appears to be the Bible's #1 prescription for guarding them. How curious, because in all my years of church-going, that was never what I was taught...
From women's Bible studies to Christian singles handbooks, I had always been told that guarding my heart meant keeping it closed up, hidden, and essentially...unused. Whether I was innocently crushing or seriously contemplating a relationship, every Christian female in my life warned me to keep my guard up: To refuse to be affected deeply by another man..and to keep myself from affecting him in a lasting way. Whether intended or not, what that teaching really taught me was that the only way to ensure my heart's purity and wholeness was to refuse to take a risk...
Ideas have consequences, friends. That philosophy guided my actions for years...yet I'm torn as to whether or not its outcome was entirely good. I know all the lyrics to "Independent Women" and how to go for years without shedding a tear. But surely "guarding your heart" means more than this...
(To Be Continued)
Confession: I didn't actually know whether or not chastity belts really existed until yesterday. Over the years, I had seen movies or heard jokes making reference to the "virginity protection device" that I always secretly assumed was a myth of medieval culture. Sure, Maid Marion had one, but I'm not sure the Hollywood version of Robin Hood is the most reliable source of historical accuracy.
So, while sipping my Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks yesterday, I decided to do some research...
And I'm here to tell you that YES, the chastity belt DOES actually exist! If you're struggling with a visual at the moment, just picture "panties of steel," secured with a lock and key. Indeed, THE most literal protection a young damsel can get to help ensure her purity. The key to unlock the chastity belt, medieval tradition has it, can only be obtained by a maiden's true love...and even then, only on her wedding night. Wow! What an invention...
Tossing any sort of kinky bondage fantasy aside, think about the practicality of such a thing! The polar opposite of the "Easy-access" crotch-less panty, the "Try-as-you-might-but-you're-not-getting-up-in-here" chastity belt offers fool-proof protection. Not only does it prevent lustful men from entering the sacred territory, but it also has the added benefit of keeping a young maiden's own hands from prematurely exploring the forbidden fruit. Just think of the marketing scheme: Feeling tempted? Fearing assailants? Lock that junk up! HE doesn't get the key until YOU get a ring! The chastity belt: It's easy...so you don't have to be.
Oh, chastity belt! If only you wouldn't look so awkward under my skinny jeans...
Maybe I can just get one for my heart instead. Encased in steel and securely locked up tight, such a device would surely prevent men from stealing it for their own emotional benefit. Like a real chastity belt, I surmise this heart protector could also guard me from myself...keeping me from exposing it or giving it away carelessly. If my heart were kept under lock and key, I could guarantee it to be safely delivered to my husband on our wedding night. "Here," I would say, proudly handing him the key, "My heart has been saved for you alone. Only YOU can unlock it's depth, it's secrets and it's beauty. It is completely pure, soft and unscarred."
Sigh...
Though the chastity belt may be real, there is no such shield for my heart. For a moment, the thought crushes me--There will never be an simple way to navigate the fragility of this most precious part of me. Scripture compels me to "guard it"...to "watch over it with all diligence." Far from a straight-forward task, the command seems a paradox. For in order to live as I am called to (by that very same Book), I need to use it everyday. In order to love, I need to keep it open and vulnerable--thus exposing it to hardening, scarring, even the possibility of shattering. I must protect it, but I cannot keep it under lock and key. God's method is far more complex than this...
Because whether it's worn on my heart or my hips, a chastity belt is just an quick-fix means of compliance--a forced obedience. It requires no self control. No actual overcoming of temptation (by either the one wearing it or the one seeking to be let in). Lacking true soul transformation or mind-renewal, its protection is false, shallow, and ultimately, in vain...
I guess this is why as I have been studying the Scriptural (yet often clouded in Christian-ese) concept of "guarding your heart," there are no easy answers. Like any aspect of spiritual growth and discipleship, mere rule-keeping and "seven-step lists" can never get us any closer to where we want to be. Because if protecting this vital organ meant installing a simple lock-and-key, we would never need to learn maturity. And the Lord so values our maturity, because it is the indication that real change has taken place...
"No prolonged infancies among us, please," Paul admonishes believers in the fourth chapter of Ephesians, "We'll not tolerate babes in the woods, small children who are an easy mark for impostors. God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love—like Christ in everything. "
Maturity, however, comes when we are given the freedom to choose...and actually taught how to choose wisely. When we are simply restrained, we are robbed of the opportunity to learn just how to exercise self-control. Like the time my Dad decided to put a timer on our TV so that my sister and I couldn't watch it until 5:30 (theoretically allowing us enough time to get our homework done before dinner). The timer, however, was a short-lived experiment, as it didn't teach us any discipline...other than to learn how to pick the lock on my parents door in order to shut the timer off ;) (Hahahaha...and we were the "good kids!"). As highly as you might like to regard human nature, there is no denying that so-called "guards" do little in the way of preventing evil. In fact, since our sinful selves gravitate towards the very things that threaten to destroy us, we shouldn't be surprised when we find ourselves intentionally breaking the guards that were designed to protect us.
The only way we come to truly value boundaries (God-implemented guards and protectors, like the commands of Scripture) is when we train ourselves to discern good from evil--and to pro-actively choose the good. That training is otherwise known as discipleship--seeking daily to know and become more and more like Christ. And incidentally, allowing Him to fill our hearts appears to be the Bible's #1 prescription for guarding them. How curious, because in all my years of church-going, that was never what I was taught...
From women's Bible studies to Christian singles handbooks, I had always been told that guarding my heart meant keeping it closed up, hidden, and essentially...unused. Whether I was innocently crushing or seriously contemplating a relationship, every Christian female in my life warned me to keep my guard up: To refuse to be affected deeply by another man..and to keep myself from affecting him in a lasting way. Whether intended or not, what that teaching really taught me was that the only way to ensure my heart's purity and wholeness was to refuse to take a risk...
Ideas have consequences, friends. That philosophy guided my actions for years...yet I'm torn as to whether or not its outcome was entirely good. I know all the lyrics to "Independent Women" and how to go for years without shedding a tear. But surely "guarding your heart" means more than this...
(To Be Continued)
LOVE IT !!!
ReplyDeleteThat heart guard is installed and operational when we *genuinely* recognize and believe that what God designed and wants for us is the truth. But(!) it requires daily reminders of that truth and encouragement from others, because the last thing Satan wants are people exposing and countering his lies. Thankfully, as he gets bolder and more aggressive in his attacks against the truth, it gets much easier to see the lies and deceit for exactly what they are.
ReplyDeleteGreat insight!
ReplyDeleteGreat insight!
ReplyDelete