[If you haven't read Part One of this post, I can guarantee you will be more than a little lost if you attempt to start with this one! So, take a few minutes and read the last post. It will make much more sense that way...trust me!
Oh yeah...and that last post was the cheeky one. This one is the sappy one :) ]
2. Sin not only twists our fears and vulnerabilities into a desire to control, but also seeks to pervert our pure, God-given desire as women to be beautiful.
Song of Solomon 4:6-7 reveals some powerful truths about the nature of both men and women...
"The sweet, fragrant curves of your body,
the soft, spiced contours of your flesh
Invite me, and I come. I stay
until dawn breathes its light and night slips away.
You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love,
beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless."
Here, a husband is speaking to his wife. He expresses just how much he loves seeing and experiencing his lover's body. Beauty is essential to him--a comfort and an unspeakable blessing. And how incredible of God to design women in such a way that they genuinely and purely enjoy BEING beautiful. The hopeless romantic in me lets out a sigh just reading that verse. I want my husband to read that verse to me someday...because I long for that verse to be about me...
Yet, it aches to be that vulnerable. It seems childish to just want to be thought of as beautiful (singing like a Disney princess awaiting her prince). Because such heart vulnerability can be so easily crushed, young women turn to society for answers as to how they can (or how they should according to the world) express this desire. Replace "beautiful" with "hot," and "true love" with "attention" or "hooking up." It's as simple as that...
The tragic fact is, because of the overwhelming prevalence of porn in our society, women today feel as though their pure beauty simply isn't enough. Having literally seen it all (from the likes of surgically-enhanced/airbrushed/eating disordered models/actresses/porn stars), it seems it takes more and more to make a man aroused. Back in the day, a woman revealing her neck or bare ankles were thought to be "too much" outside of closed doors. But now, with skin everywhere, how can we compete?
I once heard a preacher offer an extremely wise statement about the nature of male and female lust. Although some might dismiss it as a male/female stereotype or see it as perhaps "too extreme" to be true, the more I think about it, the more I realize just how much insight lies behind it. The preacher said: "The big temptation for men is to want to look at porn. The big temptation for women is to want to BE porn."
Wow! While even the speaker himself admitted this was a generalization (women can/do struggle with looking at porn as well), as a woman, I have to be honest with myself to admit that I DO struggle with that temptation (to be, not just view). That temptation to be is there even for women who have never looked at porn, because we know that GUYS have. All of us have seen glimpses of this type of seduction, from semi-covered magazines on newsstands to risque scenes in R-rated movies--enough to give us a little clue as to what we're "competing" with. When we know that men are drawn to women who look/act a certain way, we suddenly want to be THAT. Thus, we expose the sexual parts of our bodies to random strangers (any tight jeans or short skirts in your closet?) because we want to be noticed. We push sexual boundaries with men who are not our husbands, not just because of our own hormones, but because we long to be desired. The temptation to "be porn" is simply the twisted, sinful manifestation of a deep desire to be beautiful.
And of course, our Creator (never doing anything "by accident") designed that desire to serve a very important purpose. Women get aroused knowing that men are aroused by them in order that they would feel free to show and give their bodies to one man (their husband!), that he (and he alone) would be aroused by and enjoy them fully. To paraphrase from Mark Driscoll's sermon series on the Song of Solomon, the ideal sex life in a marriage is that the wife would be visually generous to show her husband her beauty and body (often), and in turn, the husband would be verbally generous towards his wife to tell her how beautiful she is and how aroused he is by her (often). Marriage, by God's design, is THE place for sexual desires, visual cravings and verbal longings to be satisfied. This union is meant to guard both spouses and keep them away from sexual sin, because all three of those deep desires were designed to be fulfilled in a pure and pleasing way by the other spouse.
Yet, we live in a broken world. Our sin keeps us far from this ideal. Marrieds screw it up by withholding from each other, engaging in fantasy about someone else, or even having an affair. And singles screw it up by impatiently looking at porn, fantasizing, masturbating, pushing sexual boundaries with significant others, or just plain having sex. (Even those who ARE waiting, it seems, don't actually want to wait...in the truest sense of the word).
And if we are are bold enough to be honest with ourselves, none of the above is actually worth it. Sure, there is pleasure for a time (why else would we do it?), yet all of those things...lust, attention-getting, affairs...are so unbelievably empty. Whether it is in the immediate wake of our sin, or in the delayed contemplation of our actions, we can't deny the raw truth that digs deep in our spirit-- these things are only a shadow of the real thing. There IS more! We are meant for more...
They say that Satan's biggest strategy when it comes to lust is to get single people to have sex before they are married...and those same people to stop having sex once they get married. How messed up is that??? This is society's stereotype (singles are getting it on all over the place, and marrieds sure as heck aren't making the best use of their king size beds)--one we know, unfortunately, is often true. Satan seeks to attack our sexuality because he knows just how powerful it is when sex is actually engaged in as it was designed to be--within the marriage bed, between one woman and one man...as often as possible! ;)
Sex is meant to show us God's incredible goodness and love towards us. He wants us to experience wonderful pleasure and intimacy with our spouse! I've said it before, but it bears repeating: In marriage, sex actually brings GLORY to God! How amazing! Now do you see the POWER in sex as it's meant to be?
So, class, your homework for the day is this: Take a long, hard look at your habits (whether you're married or single) and ask yourself whether or not your selfishness is really worth the price you're paying for it.
The truth is, you can choose to leave behind the excuses, sin and counterfeit intimacy. You can choose to embrace the best that God has for you. Because that ideal for amazing/pure sex isn't just a fairy tale--it's God's desire for us to experience on this earth.
If we choose it, that is...
Will you?
Oh yeah...and that last post was the cheeky one. This one is the sappy one :) ]
2. Sin not only twists our fears and vulnerabilities into a desire to control, but also seeks to pervert our pure, God-given desire as women to be beautiful.
Song of Solomon 4:6-7 reveals some powerful truths about the nature of both men and women...
"The sweet, fragrant curves of your body,
the soft, spiced contours of your flesh
Invite me, and I come. I stay
until dawn breathes its light and night slips away.
You're beautiful from head to toe, my dear love,
beautiful beyond compare, absolutely flawless."
Here, a husband is speaking to his wife. He expresses just how much he loves seeing and experiencing his lover's body. Beauty is essential to him--a comfort and an unspeakable blessing. And how incredible of God to design women in such a way that they genuinely and purely enjoy BEING beautiful. The hopeless romantic in me lets out a sigh just reading that verse. I want my husband to read that verse to me someday...because I long for that verse to be about me...
Yet, it aches to be that vulnerable. It seems childish to just want to be thought of as beautiful (singing like a Disney princess awaiting her prince). Because such heart vulnerability can be so easily crushed, young women turn to society for answers as to how they can (or how they should according to the world) express this desire. Replace "beautiful" with "hot," and "true love" with "attention" or "hooking up." It's as simple as that...
The tragic fact is, because of the overwhelming prevalence of porn in our society, women today feel as though their pure beauty simply isn't enough. Having literally seen it all (from the likes of surgically-enhanced/airbrushed/eating disordered models/actresses/porn stars), it seems it takes more and more to make a man aroused. Back in the day, a woman revealing her neck or bare ankles were thought to be "too much" outside of closed doors. But now, with skin everywhere, how can we compete?
I once heard a preacher offer an extremely wise statement about the nature of male and female lust. Although some might dismiss it as a male/female stereotype or see it as perhaps "too extreme" to be true, the more I think about it, the more I realize just how much insight lies behind it. The preacher said: "The big temptation for men is to want to look at porn. The big temptation for women is to want to BE porn."
Wow! While even the speaker himself admitted this was a generalization (women can/do struggle with looking at porn as well), as a woman, I have to be honest with myself to admit that I DO struggle with that temptation (to be, not just view). That temptation to be is there even for women who have never looked at porn, because we know that GUYS have. All of us have seen glimpses of this type of seduction, from semi-covered magazines on newsstands to risque scenes in R-rated movies--enough to give us a little clue as to what we're "competing" with. When we know that men are drawn to women who look/act a certain way, we suddenly want to be THAT. Thus, we expose the sexual parts of our bodies to random strangers (any tight jeans or short skirts in your closet?) because we want to be noticed. We push sexual boundaries with men who are not our husbands, not just because of our own hormones, but because we long to be desired. The temptation to "be porn" is simply the twisted, sinful manifestation of a deep desire to be beautiful.
And of course, our Creator (never doing anything "by accident") designed that desire to serve a very important purpose. Women get aroused knowing that men are aroused by them in order that they would feel free to show and give their bodies to one man (their husband!), that he (and he alone) would be aroused by and enjoy them fully. To paraphrase from Mark Driscoll's sermon series on the Song of Solomon, the ideal sex life in a marriage is that the wife would be visually generous to show her husband her beauty and body (often), and in turn, the husband would be verbally generous towards his wife to tell her how beautiful she is and how aroused he is by her (often). Marriage, by God's design, is THE place for sexual desires, visual cravings and verbal longings to be satisfied. This union is meant to guard both spouses and keep them away from sexual sin, because all three of those deep desires were designed to be fulfilled in a pure and pleasing way by the other spouse.
Yet, we live in a broken world. Our sin keeps us far from this ideal. Marrieds screw it up by withholding from each other, engaging in fantasy about someone else, or even having an affair. And singles screw it up by impatiently looking at porn, fantasizing, masturbating, pushing sexual boundaries with significant others, or just plain having sex. (Even those who ARE waiting, it seems, don't actually want to wait...in the truest sense of the word).
And if we are are bold enough to be honest with ourselves, none of the above is actually worth it. Sure, there is pleasure for a time (why else would we do it?), yet all of those things...lust, attention-getting, affairs...are so unbelievably empty. Whether it is in the immediate wake of our sin, or in the delayed contemplation of our actions, we can't deny the raw truth that digs deep in our spirit-- these things are only a shadow of the real thing. There IS more! We are meant for more...
They say that Satan's biggest strategy when it comes to lust is to get single people to have sex before they are married...and those same people to stop having sex once they get married. How messed up is that??? This is society's stereotype (singles are getting it on all over the place, and marrieds sure as heck aren't making the best use of their king size beds)--one we know, unfortunately, is often true. Satan seeks to attack our sexuality because he knows just how powerful it is when sex is actually engaged in as it was designed to be--within the marriage bed, between one woman and one man...as often as possible! ;)
Sex is meant to show us God's incredible goodness and love towards us. He wants us to experience wonderful pleasure and intimacy with our spouse! I've said it before, but it bears repeating: In marriage, sex actually brings GLORY to God! How amazing! Now do you see the POWER in sex as it's meant to be?
So, class, your homework for the day is this: Take a long, hard look at your habits (whether you're married or single) and ask yourself whether or not your selfishness is really worth the price you're paying for it.
The truth is, you can choose to leave behind the excuses, sin and counterfeit intimacy. You can choose to embrace the best that God has for you. Because that ideal for amazing/pure sex isn't just a fairy tale--it's God's desire for us to experience on this earth.
If we choose it, that is...
Will you?
"They say that Satan's biggest strategy when it comes to lust is to get single people to have sex before they are married...and those same people to stop having sex once they get married."
ReplyDeleteThis nails it SO well! Excellent post. In all sincerity, have you considered writing a book? IMNSHO, you are a very gifted writer.
"Here, a husband is speaking to his wife. He expresses just how much he loves seeing and experiencing his lover's body. Beauty is essential to him--a comfort and an unspeakable blessing. And how incredible of God to design women in such a way that they genuinely and purely enjoy BEING beautiful. The hopeless romantic in me lets out a sigh just reading that verse. I want my husband to read that verse to me someday...because I long for that verse to be about me..."
ReplyDeleteOne more comment--I honestly think the vast majority of women don't fully understand and appreciate how beautiful and desirable they are (despite any "imperfections" the media tries to convince you you have, or that you genuinely believe about yourself).
Your basic physical differences as a woman carry far more impact (read: power) than you think, and coupled with the inner beauty of an attractive spirit and character, those differences are truly breathtaking and enviable.